You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
