If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
