haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
