oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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