yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
