if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
