She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
