My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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