Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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