a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize