and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
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DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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