i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
They are going to name an STD after you.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
