i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Even the bartender felt bad for me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
