return my video game
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
