According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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