So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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