so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
