There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
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The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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