dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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