Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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