So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
