I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize