he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
