I just cut my nipple shaving
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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