I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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