Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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