I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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