she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
