There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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