plz talk dirty to me
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
