i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
