we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize