Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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