Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
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He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
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all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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