Plan B is the new Plan A
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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