Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
