Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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