If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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