Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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