Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
