Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
