I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
