Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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