You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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