Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize