your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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