btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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