return my video game
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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