u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
