I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
