Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
