I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
