Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize