Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
