No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sext me about skeletons
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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