Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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