Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize