Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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