The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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