My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
