he shaved USA in his pubs
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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