Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I want to be your penis for a week.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
