I will die if light touches me.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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