In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He better not be in your backpack
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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