I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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