sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
