I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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